I got confused for everything In My Life…
More wants = more confusion
First, I want, and then I doubt that can I get what I want?
I doubted almost everything right from the starting when I have to take my specialization in engineering followed by PG specialization. I had a full-time job and I couldn’t tell the people at my full-time job what I was doing. And then I left my job. I was too stressed. I doubted myself too much. I couldn’t handle it all.
I doubted myself to the point that I was making my decisions based on what others wanted of me, not what I wanted for myself. I was constantly second-guessing myself.
A few years back I wanted to start my own blog. I had an idea in mind regarding the blog. That every blog would eventually need a website a few years later if it is doing well. So I learned how to build a blog…then a website…… I had to find someone to help me with the design of the website. As I was not from the technical background …….but later I shut it down because of the DOUBT that will it work. But luckily I found few people who liked my articles.
It was difficult, because when my parents read my articles, they asked me that is there something that is bothering you .I had to convince them that I am not upset, there is nothing that is bothering me. I had to convince them I could do it even though I had never done it before.
To conquer the doubt that I can write I started constructing small things. Even though I doubted the big scenario, I chopped it down to small pieces that could fit into the puzzle to build the big picture.
I was scared every day I didn’t know what to do.I doubted myself that much.
But those confusions gave me the energy to write things what I wanted to do. To dream big but to break into small pieces. Now I am back in my job and also few steps ahead in my writing. Confusion will still be there, but may be frequency will become low, don’t know.I just read this somewhere “You are loved.” Doubtful feelings can arise when we feel we’re not good enough, and that can stem from feeling like we are not loved. By repeating this mantra, I remind myself that people in my life do love me, that I am good enough, and that I need not doubt myself.
I’m not sure. But I think I can!!
Follow your heart and be happy !!
Rotten Out 